Puckzilla to Egg Roll
by downonyourknees
Summary: Puck uses his new Walkie Talkie to torment Mike. Mike uses his to scheme. Ficlet from the puckrachel drabble meme on LJ. Puckleberry. Puck/Mike/Rachel friendship.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Another drabble from LJ. Prompt was _Walkie Talkies_.

* * *

"Puckzilla to Egg Roll. Come in Egg Roll."

Puck leaned back against his headboard as he listened to the static of the walkie-talkie in his hand. These things were fuckin' awesome. _Best 20 bucks he ever spent._

"Stop calling me Egg Roll!" came Mike's heated reply a second later.

He just laughed and brought the little gadget back to his mouth. "Dude, don't take offense. Egg rolls are the shit!"

"Whatever. I want a better code name!"

Puck rolled his eyes, "Okay, drama queen. How about sushi?"

Static.

"Chopsticks?"

More static.

"Mr. Miagi?"

"You're an asshole."

He starts laughing hysterically into the walkie talkie, clutching at his side with his free hand. He should be a fucking comedian.

"I'm turning this stupid thing off," Mike says, sounding grumpy.

"Ah, don't get your panties in a wad, I'm just screwin' with ya! How about Bruce Lee?"

"That's still incredibly racist, but Bruce Lee's a BAMF, so I'll take it," Mike says, pleased.

"Damn right he's a BAMF," Puck agrees. "So what are ya doin' today? Wanna come jump on some 360 with me? I just got the new Gears of War. Should be epic."

"Uhm, actually, I've got plans. Me and Rachel have a date. So.. yeah..."

His grip on the walkie talkie tightens unintentionally and he suddenly has the urge to throw it at the wall. Or throw his fist at Mike's face. Preferably the second one.

"Dude! What the fuck?" Puck shouts into speaker.

"What?" Mike asks, acting innocent.

"You know I like her, man. We just had this conversation like, two weeks ago in Matt's basement."

"Shit, you were serious? I thought you just wanted to bang her or whatever."

"Well you fuckin' thought wrong! I mean, I do wanna bang her, cause c'mon, have you _seen_ Rachel? But it's more than that. I like her and stuff."

And he does. She's smart, talented, funny (usually not on purpose, but _whatever_) and, not to mention, smokin' hot. (Beautiful, really. But that sounds way too pansy-ass.) Apparently, he's not the only one to notice that Berry's actually an awesome chick.

"So you want to date her then? Like, for real, boyfriend/girlfriend type of deal?" Mike asks.

"Clean out your goddamn ears Chang! That's what I've been saying! Except now you two are going out or whatever, and if I try to make a move she's just gonna think I'm a douchebag that keeps stealing girls from his best friends!"  
He releases the talk button and gets a response almost immediately.

"Oh, Noah, why didn't you just tell me? You should know me well enough by now to know that it's best to be upfront and honest with me regarding your feelings."

"Uh... hey, Rach. How long have you been there exactly?" He asks, clearing his throat.

"Since the whole 'code name' debacle, which really is quite offensive. And moronic."

"So you heard everything I said?"

"Every word."

"You and Mike don't really have a date tonight, do you?"

"No."

And just like that, all the puzzle pieces click together. He's just been played. Who know Mike was such a sneaky bastard? Damn ninja.

"So then you maybe wanna, uh, go on a date with _me_ tonight?"

"I would love to, Noah."

"Sweet. Pick you up at seven?"

"Can't wait!"

"See ya later, knee socks."

Alright, so maybe he owes Mike one. If he gets a little boob action tonight, he might even apologize for the _egg roll_ thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Part two! This is really silly and just for fun. Thanks to all my reviewers who inspired this, and a special shout out to Anon-the-mouse and Sheena Is A Punk Rocker.

* * *

It's the next day and Puck's home alone while his mom and sister are out shopping. He's on his Xbox, playing Fear, just about to turn a corner, when Mike's voice comes through the walkie talkie on the table in front of him.

"Yo, Puck! You there?" Mike booms through the tiny speaker.

Puck almost jumps out of his skin, dropping his controller in the process. "_Shit_," he mutters, his heart racing. (He's really glad no one was there to just see that.) He pauses his game and leans forward, snagging the walkie talkie.

"Dude, do code names mean _nothing _to you?" He asks, standing up and going to the kitchen.

"I'm not calling you Puckzilla," Mike says seriously.

"You suck. Fine. What do you want, ninja?" He throws the nickname in just to piss him off.

"It's like, insane, how racist you are," Mike replies, but he's also laughing which means he's not really mad. He's been friends with Puck for a long time, if he's not used to his douche-like ways by now, he'll never be.

"So what the fuck do you want?" Puck asks. He rummages in the fridge for a second, pulling out a soda before going back into the living room.

"Just wanted to see how the date went yesterday."

"It was awesome," Puck says, smiling to himself.

"That's great, man! Gimme details!" Mike demands excitedly.

"Jesus, Chang, get a hold of yourself," Puck laughs, "I'm not about to sit here and gossip with you like a couple of chicks. And anyways, I don't kiss and tell."

It's Mike's turn to laugh now, "I call bullshit! Dude, you give the entire football team a play-by-play every time you hook up with a girl."

He wishes he could argue that, but it's actually true. "What-the-fuck-_ever_, I'm not giving you details. I'm keeping all of that crazy to myself. Oh, and sorry I called you egg roll." He can't help the smirk that finds its way on his face. He got boob action, _and then some_. Best date ever.

"Uhhh, okay, thanks?" Mike says, confused.

"Whatever, don't mention it." He's serious.

"Right. Well, I'm glad you had a good time with Rachel."

"Yeah. Hey, thanks for being a devious little bastard and pulling that stunt yesterday. I could've gotten her on my own though," Puck says.

"Of course you could've," Mike laughs. He doesn't appreciate the sarcasm.

"Get bent! Fuckin' ninja…" he mutters the last part loud enough for Mike to hear.

"Shut up Jew Burger!" Mike retorts.

Puck sits on his couch, stunned at the lame (_totally awesome_) comeback. Then he hears laughter filter in through the speaker, and mixed in with Mike's deep laugh is an adorable (shut up) giggle that he recognizes instantly.

"Are you serious right now? Rachel's over there _again?_" He's not jealous. He's _not._

"Hi Noah!" Rachel chirps.

"Hey Rach, what the fuck are you doing over there with Chang's lame ass?" he asks.

"Don't be a jerk, Noah!" she scolds him. "Mike has become a very good friend of mine and, as friends, we are entitled to enjoy being in each other's company."

"Yeah, _Noah_," Mike adds teasingly.

He would like nothing better than to reach through his walkie talkie and strangle his friend, but he's got bigger fish to fry here.

"How 'bout you come over to my house and _enjoy being in my company_, babe? I've got the house all to myself."

She doesn't say anything for a few minutes, so he assumes she's trying to be polite as possible in blowing off Mike.

"She just left. Should be there in ten minutes," Mike laughs.

"Sweet. Hey, let's hang tomorrow. I gotta kick your ass for that 'Jew Burger' comment," he jokes.

"You liked that, huh?" Mike asks.

"It _was_ kind of funny, definitely a good burn," Puck admits.

"I thought so too. Rachel came up with it."

He might love that girl.

* * *

**AN: **Credit to Sheena Is A Punk Rocker for Jew Burger!


End file.
